Sunday, January 10, 2016

My unexpected hiatus from blogging now over, I find myself with eight billion things to say and write and not enough time to do so. This year sapped the vitality out of my creative life to say the least. This past year found us in one of the darkest years we've had in a really long time, yet still my year was full of joy. In spite of those joys, it's a year I'd rather not repeat again.

I always choose a word for the year, and honestly, sometimes it's a stretch. I work so hard to land on something, and then I spend a lot of the year being dissatisfied with the word that I've picked.

This year was not like that at all. There was no struggle. No soul searching. I was in the shower, and a word just dropped into my head. A word that I never in a million years would have come up with if I'd had to work at it on my own. 


Really? After the amount of pain and grief that my schedule has caused me this year? After the stress and difficulty due to adding to our responsibilities? After bringing yet one more child into our home? More??

Yet, as soon as it entered my head, I knew this was it. This is the year that I no longer settle. Last year was hard, and if I had to think of a word to describe it, it would be this: adequate. What a word, right? Not exactly how I want to be describing my life. Adequate. This year, I don't want that to be the word that comes to mind when I attempt to describe my past year. Adequate is the worst. More is the future.

I don't want to settle for a pretty close relationship with God. I don't want to expect normal things from my spiritual life. I don't want to pray for miracles while still not truly believing that they'll happen.

I don't want to settle for a good enough marriage. I love my marriage, but why in the world would I just decide that it's good enough? Why wouldn't I want more from it? This year, I'm not settling for the comfortable relationship that we've had.

I don't want to settle for being a good enough mom. For being mostly ok. I have so much more within me to give to my children. I want more for them. I want more for me.

I am not settling for just enough. Or good enough. I want more. There IS more.

Along with the word, Scripture was right there at my ready. Guiding me into the calling for my life this year. 

"Now to Him who is able to do far more (MORE!!) abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus, throughout all generations, forever and ever, Amen."Ephesians 3:20-21

As one of my favorite teachers, Beth Guckenberger, likes to say, "God writes the very best stories." The stories I want to write seem fine, until I see what God has in store. He has more for me. He has more for my family. He has more for my marriage. He has more for my church. There is so much more than I can ever think or imagine or ask for. I want to access that this year, and the great thing about this particular scripture is that it tells me exactly how: according to the power at work within us. That same power that raised Jesus from the dead is already within me. It's not that I'll be able to do more or get more or have more all on my own, but it's because Christ lives in me. He's already given me everything I need which makes it all that more ridiculous that I've settled for just adequate.

MORE is the promise I'm claiming for this year. I am unbelievably excited for what it holds. The stories have already begun to unfold, in my life, in my husband's life, in our marriage, in our church. I cannot wait to see what God has for us. I cannot wait to bear witness to the resurrection stories, to the glory. It's all for Him. 

Remember not the former things nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing, now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.Isaiah 43:18-19

I don't have to live in the adequacy of this past year. Neither do you. God is doing a new thing. It is already springing forth, if we can just SEE it. He is making beauty from ashes, joy from mourning - living water in the desert and wastelands of our life. There's more for you too this year, dear friends. Seek it out with me? Be hopeful. All of God's promises are yes in Christ Jesus, and it is Jesus Himself that is the Amen. 

Yes and Amen.
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