soapbox friday: in which I am pro-life

Friday, July 31, 2015


My facebook feed is overtaken with Planned Parenthood haters. Truth be told, that recent video makes me feel ill. It's callous, and it breaks my heart that human beings can speak so callously of other humans. I want to hate that woman and all she stands for.

Except. 

Personally, I'm not a Planned Parenthood hater. I have mixed feelings about this agency. They provide services to women that literally no one else is doing in many, many areas. (Fact Check: Abortions are only 3% of their total services, and by law, no federal funding is permitted to be allocated for abortive services.) They provide contraception, STD testing, ultrasounds, prenatal care, counseling, and so many other necessary services. I have three different friends who were helped in a very specific way by this agency. After rape. After an abortion. After an unplanned pregnancy. They went to Planned Parenthood because their own churches and Christian schools would give them no assistance. You tell me who the callous, hate-filled agency is in those instances. 

That said, it's really all this call for this to be our "moment", for this to be a galvanizing incident for the pro-life movement that's getting me at this particular moment. It's often coupled with ideas of ways to help, most of which do not even begin to address the real problems that lead to abortion. Frequently, it's accompanied by graphic descriptions of what happens to babies when they are aborted. It's awful and makes the stomach churn.

Are you horrified by the description of what happens to babies during an abortion? Me too. But let me tell you about what happens to many of those same babies that aren't aborted. 

Let me tell you about a child who was duct-taped naked to a child's potty so tightly and for so long (more than a full day, actually) that her legs lost circulation and turned blue.

About a child who, as a preschooler, was forced to scrounge for food in the trash to feed herself and her siblings while they were alone, without food or diapers, for hours and hours on end.

What about a child who was walking barefoot through dog and human feces in a home that was so bad that the social worker, who has seen many a dirty home, literally vomited upon entering?

Let me tell you about a child who was not only forced to watch her mother engage in sexual acts with her boyfriends while she was four and five years old, but was also forced to engage in sexual acts herself with those boyfriends.

Or a kid who was locked in a bathroom with only bread crusts to eat.

Or a baby who had a gun pulled on him with threats of murder.


Or a kid who entered foster care with bruises still on their back from abuse that had occurred SIX WEEKS earlier.


What about the baby who had an open sore on the back of her head from sitting in her carseat 24 hours a day? Never picked up. Never cared for.

Let me tell you about what it feels like for a child to know that their mother doesn't want them. Or to know that their parents have chosen drugs again and again and again.

Does that horrify you? Does it? My experience is that most people are more horrified by the thought of abortion than the reality of what these children live through. These are some of the kids that we've met. That we've parented. That's the reality of what it looks like when women choose "life" instead of abortion. This should horrify you. You should want to throw up when you read this, same as when you read the descriptions of what abortion entails.

Are you pro-life? Really?
Because it's about more than calling your congressman. Or funneling money towards that one pro-life women's center in the area. It's about more than sharing articles on facebook.


It's about supporting policies that help women at risk. Expanding government services to those most vulnerable. It's about all of those policies that people love to get angry about: legally mandating that contraceptives are provided free of charge, not requiring drug tests for women to receive food and medical services, paying for mental health care, expanding early childhood education services, providing bus passes, parenting classes, in-home parent aides, and drug rehab. It's about opening more domestic violence shelters, more detox centers, dumping minimum sentencing, allowing felons more rights, and more. 

It's about stepping up and caring for the children whose mamas chose life instead of going through with the abortion. That means exposing yourself and your children to the ugliness of life, yes. It means bringing traumatized, terrified, abused, and neglected children into your safe cozy home. It makes your home less safe, less pretty, more chaotic, but it's what it takes to love and heal a child.

It's about continuing to live in your neighborhood where the neighbors use too much bad language, where the house across the street deals drugs out of their bedroom window, where children come to your door and into your yard at all hours, where your stuff gets stolen out of your cars and garages instead of moving to the country where it's quiet and safe and you don't have to worry about those things. It's putting yourself in the midst of it so you have a chance to make a difference.

It's not about adoption usually. It's about being willing to put your own savior feelings of rescue on the line to commit to help a family do what it takes to remain together and become a safe place for one another. It's about allowing a single mama to live in your extra bedroom. It's about driving her to appointments. It's about providing a dad with a job and very likely, the transportation to get there. It's about loving a child like they came from your very own body, yet still being willing to say goodbye forever when they are ready to move back home to the family they are intended to be a part of.

If you're not willing to be horrified by what these children go through, if you're not willing to step up and put your lives on the line for these women and children, then I would challenge you that you might not be truly pro-life at all. Don't mistake me. I hate that abortion exists at all. Hate it with every part of my being. Life is sacred. ALL of life is sacred. But until we wake up to what's really going on here, until we stand up for what matters most with our hands out in service and surrender to help those who need it the most, saying we're pro-life is just lip service.

Make it real.


Faith, by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

James 2:17

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