winter apocalypse life lessons

Thursday, January 30, 2014


Things I’ve learned while my husband has been gone for what amounts to ten days. (full disclosure: he was home for approximately 24 non-consecutive hours in the middle of this time.)

1) Life with four children is immensely easier than life with five children…if you remove the child that is currently the most amount of physical work. (pre-schooler)

2) Snow days are fun.

3) Snow days are fun?

4) Multiple consecutive snow days make me want to eat an enormous amount of carbs. This solves two problems: Cold. The tendency towards despair. Now I know why we always made doughnuts on snow days when I grew up. It wasn’t for us. It was for my mama.

5) The baby gets really anxious about being left alone in a room when the papa is away. Cue screaming in terror.

6) Stomach viruses are not fun. Also, when you have been vomited on four-plus times, chances are very high that you will succumb to said stomach virus.

7) ER visits are not fun. But if you go in the middle of a level 2 snow emergency, they are at least not very crowded.

8) Zofran is magical.

9) My oldest daughter is the worst at vomiting. The worst. You have no idea. The baby can vomit in more appropriate locations than my 9-year-old.

10) I miss my husband. Immensely. However. My bed has remained exactly the way I made it. Tight sheets. Lots of pillows. Blanket firmly in place. It’s hard for me to go to sleep when he’s gone, but once I do, magical sleep bliss. I know I’m not alone in this. Anyone else out there who shares a bed with someone who has vastly different sleep preferences than you? It feels a bit like betrayal, but I promise it doesn’t mean you love your husband any else if you prefer how you sleep alone to how you sleep together. Amirite?

11) My four-year-old is a nightmare on the phone. “mama! mama! I want to tell you a story! mama! one time, there was a tornado mama! and it was in our house…..” Please. Please stop talking. Please don’t hang up when you hand the phone to your father. Please don’t hang up. Please don’t hang… Whatever.

12) My husband is the best man I know. Taking your four-year-old daughter on a train trip to North Dakota is the mark of a truly good dad. Not freaking out at the idea of said trip is the mark of the best dad in the world. If I died, I do not worry for the futures of my kids. My husband’s got it. Seriously. He’s amazing. As I write this, however, the train is running some eight hours behind schedule. (yep. This is what we heard train travel might be like.) Fortunately, he says he’s on the “rowdy” car. (Translation: people are partaking freely of the booze to dull the pain.) No better place to be with an overactive preschooler than that train car. God bless him.

Do you live in the Midwest with school-aged children? Does your husband have to travel frequently? I’m eager to hear your life lessons from multiple snow days and father-travel-trips.

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