fostering update

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Baby D has been with us for over 7 weeks now, and it doesn’t seem like it’s been nearly that long. It’s a little strange because our experience and our expectation was that he would’ve shifted allegiance to us after this amount of time. He’s a baby after all, and he spends all but eight hours a week with us. But no. He loves his mama. He loves her the most. We are clearly not his parents. He tolerates and enjoys us as caretakers, but it’s a little disconcerting to know that this little baby definitely knows and treats us as mere babysitters. He knows who he belongs with, and it is not us.

He still has no teeth, he’s not quite ready to walk, but he is the most freaking adorable baby ever. I think it’s something about his super-symmetrical features, and they’re all very close together on his face. Plus he has hair, which I am unused to on babies. His little mouth makes a perfect half-circle when he smiles. It’s just too cute. All of us enjoy him so very much, but I don’t think that any person, including the children, is confused about this baby’s place in our family. We all love him, but we all know where he should be. Every visit, the kids ask if this the time that he gets to go home forever. Really, I think children, especially those who have experienced significant pain and trauma, have a better idea than we do of what’s going on. They sense when other little souls have been in trauma or are in danger in ways that I don’t completely understand.

If you would, join me in some earnest prayer that he can go home to his mama very soon. We know the reason he was removed. We know there are reasons that they aren’t returning him home yet. We definitely don’t want him to be unsafe, and we are fully committed to our role within the agency. We will keep him safe and secure as long as they feel he needs to be here, and we will do it willingly. That’s the job we agreed to do, and we are honored to do it. But we think that our role as foster parents, as the people who know him best outside of his real family, calls us to advocate for this baby and his needs, and so we will continue to advocate to the professionals involved that he go home as soon as possible. (Which in truth, is also the goal of the agency.) In spite of what we know and don’t know, we know Baby D, and we believe he is best served by being with his mama. She’s a good mama, and I really believe that she can and will continue to keep him safe, healthy, and nurtured. We’re praying for mercy.

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