one year ago today...

Friday, April 15, 2011

...we got a call for two little children. We didn't know their names. We didn't know what they looked like. We knew their ages, that they were being moved from a relative placement, that their parents were not involved. We said yes because we felt like it was the right decision. We said yes because we were desperately waiting and praying for a placement.

We didn't know the level of the trauma they had experienced. We didn't know that we were Mr. B's sixth move in a year. We didn't know that they would never see their mother again. We didn't know the pain and anxiety that could be built up in one small child. We surely didn't know how this little boy was yearning for a mama.

Baby R spent the first day crying. Inconsolably. The caseworker says, "She did this the last time we moved her too." I finally got her to sleep in the baby swing for awhile.

Mr. B gave me a hug the minute he got out of the car in the driveway. The caseworker thought this was a good sign. I thought he was a sweet little boy. Little did I realize the warning sign that was. We definitely didn't know the impact that a traumatized, attachment-challenged child would have on our entire family.

I asked Ben what he remembered about when they came, and he said that he remembered that Mr. B was playing baseball in the backyard with W when he got home from school. Baby R was swinging in her baby swing outside, watching them. Maggie remembered that Mr. B had a pinwheel that he had brought with him. There is no escaping the joy and love on Ben and Maggie's faces when they talk about this day.

None of us knew that the year ahead would be simultaneously the best and worst of our lives. I didn't know that I would be the person I am today because of these two precious children. I didn't know that our marriage would be stronger because of this particular placement. I didn't know the strength and depth of character that our children would exhibit with these children.

What I did know within a couple days of them being here was that they were meant to be in our family. I didn't know for how long; I still don't know that answer. But Mr. B and Baby R, through a series of horrific, nearly unbelievable circumstances, were brought to our family on April 15, 2010 because they were supposed to come here.

Did they need us? Most definitely.
Did we need them? In ways we never imagined.

Happy 1 year anniversary to our little family.

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