and my heart bwoke

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Disclaimer: For anyone who reads Lisa's blog, this is going to sound like a post she wrote. I'm really not trying to copy at all.
This is not a story that I would choose to take for my own.
So here's my disclaimer that this actually did happen to me this very morning. Unfortunately.

This morning, I was irritated. It was not a peaceful morning. The littlest woke up early with a sopping wet diaper, jammies, and bed. Picture day is today, and I have grave concerns over my kindergartner's ability to keep her hair nice until picture time. The husband woke up irritated about something, and then I was short and irritated with him, which surprise! did not help the situation at all. The dog would not stop barking, in spite of his new bark collar. And Mr. B decided that this is the morning that he would not get up and actually go to the bathroom, instead he would cry LOUDLY from his room about needing to go to the bathroom. And I lost it. A lot of anger and harsh words. Not enough tenderness.

Later, when everyone was calmer, I talked with Mr. B about it. I apologized for losing my temper and for yelling at him. I said, "Did you feel mad at me?" He says, "Yeah. And my heart bwoke."

Geez. Not my favorite mothering moment.
Glad for grace this morning. In the face of a little boy whose heart was bwoke, who still asked to be held and squeezed me tight, who sang a lullaby with me while our hearts healed together.

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