Rockin Mama Challenge

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Lisa, over at A Bushel and a Peck, issued this challenge about a week ago or so.  

Many of us are mothering children who came to us with broken hearts; it stretches us and sometimes we doubt our ability to help them become whole.  In the nearly four years since our adopted children joined our family, we have sought many avenues of healing for them.  One of the simplest and most profound means of encouraging attachment we’ve found is rocking our children in our big “Ugly Chair.”
Let’s rock our children and give ourselves deeply to loving them and bringing  healing to their hearts.

The challenge is to rock our children for 15 minutes a day for 28 days. Alone. I can't pretend that this is as easy for me as I thought it would be. Mr. B's behavior is so repellent sometimes right now that I find it difficult to connect. Some days I have to force myself to connect. However, the few days that we have been doing this so far (this is our 4th time in 6 days) have been very fulfilling. Most of the rocking has been at bedtime, in the dark, with the CD of 'blessing' songs that I put together for him when he first moved in. The tenderness of this time together has been so therapeutic for both him and me.

I've been doing a daily liturgy, much like the Daily Office or Divine Hours, for the past month, and when possible, I include the children. Ben is really into it, Maggie could care less, but Mr. B actually has asked for me to 'read the prayers' a couple of times during our rocking sessions. I sense that he yearns for the spiritual fulfillment of prayer and the presence of the Spirit that we feel when we share in the common prayers of God's people. He doesn't understand it yet, but I know that speaking the Word over him is breaking down strongholds and building a spiritual foundation that his little soul has longed for.

We've been struggling with connection here. Mr. B is angry and anxious and confused, and his fear response is to disconnect. Even our therapy time has been a struggle every day.  He stopped asking for it for about a week. When I would initiate it, he would not make eye contact, refuse to participate, and I would really have to work to engage him. After we added the rocking routine, he started asking for 'special play time' again. I'm pushing, pushing, pushing, but ever so gently, for him to truly connect with me every day. Multiple times a day. He needs the connection. He needs to not disengage. I understand his fear.  I share his fear on a huge level. However, I believe God created His people for community, for connection, for intimacy. I believe God created Mr. B for all of those things in the context of our family. I have a holy calling to speak truth, love, courage, compassion, and strength into this child's life. Thanks, Lisa, for your challenge. It is making a difference in our lives.

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