one thousand gifts

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Ever read a book that just wrecked you? Today, I finished One Thousand Gifts. Too quickly and not soon enough. I couldn't get enough of it, and I never wanted it to end. I thought I was prepared because I read Ann Voskamp's blog every day, but nothing could have prepared me for the words, the beautiful grace-filled words in this book. Page after page, I found myself catching my breath, welling with tears, lifting in praise.  Saying, "Yes. Yes and Amen."

I want to live like this. I want to live fully, exactly where I am. In the midst of pain, in the moments where I feel like I can't breathe, in the moments where I feel my heart will break, in the moments where I feel my heart will burst...that's where I want to live fully. In the everyday.

I want to give thanks for everything, for anything, for the mundane and the miraculous. I want to live my life full of grace and thanks because that's what draws us into true communion with Christ. I want to lament, but not complain. I want to be emptied so I can be filled. I want to be filled so I can be emptied again. I want to see God.

I started my gratitude list on Christmas Day, but I did not fully understand it until today. As I finished this book, I was struggling to be grace to my children in a crazy afternoon of harsh words, angry hands, and outright disobedience. So I started counting the gifts:
33. pudgy baby arms, clapping hands together in joy
34. brown eyes peeking from underneath a ball cap that must be worn all.day.long.
35. a glimpse of my child's broken, hurting heart

And I started to live.

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