back at it

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

since things are actually moving forward, I really want to make sure that I try to document some of them. as carefully as possible. The agency will be moving for permanent custody on Mr. B and his older sister. The caseworker expects this trial to happen around Thanksgiving. However, they want to move the baby to be with a great-aunt. We are not thrilled with their suggestion. It would devastate Mr. B to be without his sister. I feel like she's the one piece of his past that he still has. Not to mention that we are the only family she has ever known. Their CASA worker is opposed. So there's some room for change, but as of now, that is the plan.

I've been overwhelmed by this the past week. I don't understand God's plan in all of this. I don't get why He would allow one child (Mr. B, in this instance) to experience yet another trauma and loss in his life. How can a 68-year-old single woman be better for the baby than a family with children and her actual brother? I just don't understand. And I'm angry and sad.

Today, I read this passage of scripture. This passage is where I'm going to live for the next few weeks, I think. Trying to rest. Trying to trust. Waiting on God to move.

God, the Master, The Holy of Israel, has this solemn counsel:

"Your salvation requires you to turn back to me 
   and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves.
Your strength will come from settling down 
   in complete dependence on me—
The very thing you've been unwilling to do.

You've said, 'Nothing doing! We'll rush off on horseback!'  You'll rush off, all right! Just not far enough!  You've said, 'We'll ride off on fast horses!' Do you think your pursuers ride old nags?  Think again: A thousand of you will scatter before one attacker. Before a mere five you'll all run off. There'll be nothing left of you— a flagpole on a hill with no flag, a signpost on a roadside with the sign torn off.  

But God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you. 

   He's gathering strength to show mercy to you.

God takes the time to do everything right—everything. 
   Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.

Oh yes, people of Zion, citizens of Jerusalem, your time of tears is over. Cry for help and you'll find it's grace and more grace. The moment he hears, he'll answer. 

Isaiah 30:15-19
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