empty house again

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Miss O went home yesterday. This morning Ben came into my room and says, "the house feels so empty without Miss O, Mama." He's right. Our house feels empty again. As does the space in my heart waiting for a child who can live with us forever.

I'm glad she got to go home to her parents, but we definitely miss her. She never was ours nor did she ever feel like ours. If she hadn't spent the four days before she went home sick with a double ear infection and a terrible cold, I probably would have felt better about sending her home. But all I feel right now is exhausted and a little depressed. While she was here, I had something to occupy my time and thoughts, but now that she's gone, I feel all of those angry and sad feelings coming back. As much as I want to wallow in my misery however, I recognize the unhealthiness of that. Time to look foward, keep working, keep praying, keep hoping...

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